Wayne and Rebecca Madsen

Good advice for every guy who wants to have a solid relationship AND play his video games.

1. Find out if your girlfriend has ever played video games before. She may not be a full-blown gamer, but maybe she played Mario games when she was younger. Or maybe she likes playing an Internet game from time to time. If you know her gaming history, you'll have a better chance of finding a game she'll enjoy now.

2. Remind your girlfriend that if you both play video games, you'll be able to spend even more quality time together.

3. Pick out a game she might like. If you're not 100% sure she'll enjoy it, you can rent it.

* Try to choose a game or game system that isn't too confusing, and doesn't require short reaction time. Many non-gamers are intimidated by button combinations. If you've ever gotten frustrated to the point of throwing the controller in a game, don't start with that one. (For example, in my wife's case, she was used to a simple controller like a Nintendo controller, so using a simple controller with PC games works nicely)
* If you can, get a game that is multi-player or, optimally, co-op.
* Consider your girlfriend's personality when picking out a game. Some girls may prefer the brightly colored, all-ages games like Katamari Damacy, Bust A Move, Lego Star Wars (I couldn't recommend this game more), Sims (or this one), or just about any Mario game. But remember that your girlfriend is an individual who could just as well go for Halo, Resident Evil, or Grand Theft Auto.

4. Have fun when you play with her. If you make it a good time she will enjoy it, even if she's not that "into games." Crack jokes, make her laugh, and focus primarily on spending time with her, not on winning the game at hand. Be prepared to help her out. Even if she's only playing "easy" games, your girlfriend may get stuck and frustrated. As a gamer, you know one of the most frustrating things about video games is getting stuck. Helping her will not only avoid her getting frustrated and fed up with video games, but it will foster a sense of "playing together" and help her see what a great guy you are.

5. Be understanding and supportive. When she first starts out, tell her that it's easy, and that she will catch on. Make her feel like this is something that she can do. Let her win. Try not to show any signs of being annoyed that she can't pass the 1st water zone for the 76th time in a row. As she keeps playing, she will get better and may enjoy the game itself.

6. Next time you and your girlfriend are in a game shop, casually walk by the video game section and ask her if there is anything that catches her eye. She will probably say no at first without looking at any game, but coax her into it.

Tips

* Teach her how to uncramp her hands, because they will get tired during her first few sessions. Show her how you usually stretch out your hands, because if she equates video games with sore and stiff hands, she won't want to play any more. Maybe you could give her a hand massage to make her feel better.

* Recognize that she probably doesn't want to play for 8 hours at a time. When she wants to do something else, don't make her continue to play or make her feel guilty for only playing 2 hours.

* If you are playing an MMORPG, let her create a character on your account. Allow her to choose the look, style of dress, everything. She will appreciate that she is playing with something she created herself.

* Eventually, she may want to try more advanced games. This is not a given, though. She may become a pwnz0r at Mario but never want to pick up a shooter. If you want her to play games like that, try getting her to play co-op with you. You may be able to "ease" her into these kinds of games, especially if she can play with you instead of against you (though she may get a kick out of blowing you away in Halo).

* If you do manage to get your girlfriend playing video games on her own, be ready and willing to help her through some of the harder levels or boss battles.

* If you can get a girl who started out with no interest in video games to enjoy a co-op shooter, you've done well, exceedingly well. Eventually she may play multiplayer with you, or even against you. Maybe. One can dream.

* Some Nintendo systems have more intuitive controls which may be useful to just pick up and play without prior experience. This may be a good starting point for new gamers, unless they have prior experience with other systems controls.

* Having a large screen or projection TV may help get your girlfriend "into" the game. It's much easier to get drawn into the game and pay attention on a big screen instead of squinting to see what's happening on a small one.

Warnings

* If you try to get your girlfriend into something you're into that she's not, she may feel justified in doing the same with you--attempting to show you the glory of shoe-shopping, for example. If she's a good sport, you should be, too.

* If you get her into gaming, you might never get access to your computer or game console again. (This isn't a bad thing)

* If you're the kind of person who shouts phrases with extremely violent cursing after losing a video game, try not to do so. It may show her that you're not a very civil person.

* When and if she starts to beat you on a consistent basis, do *NOT* stop playing the game with her, remember you wanted this. Nurture it.

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